wat actually matters...

everyone of us is ultimately looking for love in some form.. everyone of us.. love comes in so many packages....some of us yearn for a mom's love.. some of us for a friend's.. while there are some others who find love in a sister or a partner..

Then why are we so boggled up when we hear the word 'love'.. its nothing to be scared of.. its somethin that helps you smile.. helps you cry your sorrows out.. love never dies.. it stays forever.. you can never hate somebody you love.. still when somebody you love hurts you or breaks your heart you try .. you try so hard to hate them.. but u never can.. u might move on forget the hurt but never the love.. love stays forever..

when a person moves on its not that there is no love... there are other things in any relationship other than love... the understanding, comfortability and trust combined together weighes more than love actually.. one might love somebody so much that they can keep trying to make things work.. but things will only work if the other factors are intact..

so what is it that matters...so does that mean if i understand and am comfortable with someone.. its enough to make a relationship work.. yes.. this is the truth..it is enough.. love follows wherever there is a perfect combination of comfortability and trust.. well thats the only way indian marriages work..

thats the only reason why so many relationships don't.. !!

as one moves on in life. they find a few people who make them feel special.. who make you think you are the only person who mattered to them.. you are the priority in their life.. then situations come up n you drift apart.. and how does this situation arise .. 'misunderstandings'.. no worries soon you'll find another person who makes you feel the same way this time jus remember not to let the 'misunderstanding' come in the way.. !!

love is an inspiration and a stimulus.. it gives you hope.. it gives you the courage to keep trying.. it gives you te boost when you are down.. gives you the reason to smile even while you are cryin... so let's not be scared of feelings.. lets not be scared of the intensity of the feelings.. someday you might be surprised to find the power they hold.. they can get you through nythin..!! when i say anything i mean anything...!!

dancing in the rain..tada tada da...

I sat by the window.. looked at the rain drops trickling down the window pane.. I ran my finger on the other side tracing the drops absentmindedly.. there was a small smile on my face …I imagined myself running down the street screaming and enjoying the rain…getting drenched… I imagined pulling my friends from next door and playin in the rain.. I sat and smiled.. it was beautiful.. full of life.. just the way I wanted to be..

As I sat there looking out I heard a voice in my head.. why am I jus sitting here content to see n imagine .. why am I not actually getting up n doin the thing I really want to..as I always d I tried to justify myself saying I have grown up I cant really scream n play in the rain in the streets.. I heard a cynical laugh.. I tried to come up with something else.. I said I might fall sick.. the laugh just got harder.. I said oh common what ll people think of me.. they ll think I am mad.. the voice said yes this is the reason. You are bothered about people.. it said u can jus imagine what it is like to dabble and play in the rain.. have you ever felt it.. imagining something and feeling it are two different things.. are you afraid of feeling something that is simply the best.. above it all.. I was quick to react.. I said no.. why wud I do that… think harder said the voice..

I thought n I found that in reality I had always looked at other people having fun and jus imagining myself in their place.. I had never really taken a stand saying I ll try it myself.. why I wondered now.. I looked at the rain drops.. tried to feel how it would feel.. I found the answer.. it was all in my head.. full of social prejudices.. what is right what is wrong.. I jus let these prejudices confuse me..!!

It was all sorted out now.. I knew I should do the things I longed to do.. cause everybody deserves a chance to experience things on their own..!! I was tired of imagining things.. I put a broad smile on my face.. opened the door to the street.. ran down screaming and enjoyin the rain…!! Jus the way I imagined.. !! I saw kids playing in the water.. I joined them.. smiling and laughing splashing water on each other,, and guess what it felt jus awesome.. way better than wat I imagined it would feel… it was ecstatic.. !! now I thought even if I fall sick guess it would be worth it.. everthin s worth a try in life.. !!

I had never been more happier and excited my entire life..!! it was way beyond wat it looked like from far.. to sing and dance in the rain..!! when I came back to my room.. the whole experience touched me so much that I was ' speechless'.. guess I can never put it into words wat I felt.. but if you really wanna know try it.. whatever you longed to do.. whatever you were content to sit far away n look at and jus imagined what it would be like..!! I know people think I m crazy now.. n crazy I feel.. but its nice..!! I have never enjoyed n been happy about feeling as crazy as I feel today!!

A girl with an umbrella in the middle of nowhere…

There was a girl with an umbrella who walked and walked endlessly.. all she could see was patches of green far away.. with nothing effective to do she decided to at least walk till that patch.. she walked towards it.. it took like ages to reach her destination n when she looked around she was disappointed.. it wasn’t what it looked from that far.. she thought “ah so it’s the truth they say the grass always looks greener on the other side..” pondering over it she thought funny that is how life is..thats the way of life.. we always look at someone n say I wish I had an easy life like hers.. may be the person has other problems that don’t really show when you look at them…

Once a friend of hers told her.. ”what for you? You have everything I ever wanted..you don hv anything to worry about” she asked her what problems does she have.. she pointed out a few issues of hers which our girl with the umbrella found very easy to deal with or which she found she would never worry about .. those things that were important to her were unimportant to our girl… and she probably din’t know the other things our girl has to face …

Our girl realized today what she could see was in comparison only to her problems..she thought “ being in my shoes.. she ll no longer have those issues but she ll have those which she would ve never thought of before.. “ it always sounds so nice to say “ I wish I was in your shoes…” cause we just look at the good things the advantages n we somehow manage to overlook the problems that accompany..

Every person has strengths and weakness… a person might find it easier to deal with emotional issues while to the other that might be the biggest issue. So next time you see somebody and think hope life was to me as it is to him.. think twice.. there s a * which says there are hidden traits.. that * is so easy to overlook but that is what ll change your entire life… and so that you know.. there s at least one person who looks at you and thinks “ I wish I was him/her..:)”

There are a series of things that comes up in our girl’s mind when she thinks about illusions and perception… our girl and loads of others like her go through this.

She looks at the night sky with loads of stars.. somewhere deep down she knows the stars are nt there .. they either would hv died by now or would be somewhere else(stars are light years away).. they are not the way she sees it.. yet when she looks at them she thinks they are there..
The mirage.. Driving down a lane in the hot sun.. she sometimes sees there is a pool of water at a distance.. she knows it’s not there.. Its jus a trick of the eye yet for an instant she believes it’s there…

she goes to the beach in the morning, looks at blue water .. at sunset orange colored water.. its reflection of the sky.. so she has been taught.. she has also been taught water is colorless.. but she still sees orange colored water..

So what is it?? Should she not believe everything she sees?? Can eyes play tricks on us?? Or is it that we should give room to our mind to work on things before jus blindly believing what we see…!!??

I ll tell you a story of our very own girl with the umbrella.. once she decided to touch the skies.. !!
Our little girl with the umbrella..looked at the horizon and thought “that is where the sky meets the sea.. if I go there I will be able to touch the skies..” Now you tell me is it possible.. but our lil girl so badly wanted to touch the skies that she thought it could happen…

So our little girl prepared for the journey.. she took all that was necessary and started on her journey to reach the point where her dreams ll come true…

Days passed by.. she sailed and sailed.. it looked as if she had made no improvement.. the point still looked so far away.. she thought just a little while more.. I ll reach the point.. I ll get closer..
Weeks and months passed by.. she went deeper and deeper into the waters.. she din know where she was.. all that she knew was she has to reach her goal.. its nice to be focused but our lil girl took the wrong path.. she trusted something she saw which dint happen in reality and which would never happen and she blindly followed path..

There was still time.. if only she had accepted that the horizon was jus an illusion.. if only she had turned back and sailed towards land again.. if only she had had the courage to accept the truth and turn back while there was still time..

But are little girl dint wanna accept the truth.. she sailed and sailed and one day she realized she was lost.. she realized the point she was working towards was never there..there was no way she could make it back to the shore.. It was too late..

If only she had accepted it earlier.. if only she had come back.. she could ve dreamt of something else or achieved the same dream differently.. if only she had accepted things earlier..

Now the little girl is lost.. our girl with the umbrella is lost forever.. but let’s learn from her life.. it s not wrong to work towards your goal.. its not wrong to take steps to achieve it.. but when you realize you are taking a wrong path.. never postpone the decision for tomorrow.. turn and come back.. and take another road to your destination...or you might never know you could be lost to the world jus like our little girl with the umbrella in the middle of nowhere!!!!

My life for you INC.

One of the weirdest thing I ve ever heard “what if there was a company which had people who would live the bad times for you for a price?”

Imagine you could just go to a person and say “ hey this is my situation I want you to handle it for me ..live my life till this is over.. “ sounds like hey if this could work it ll be awesome.. !! for me yes n what abt the other person who goes through hell for me today n for another person tomorrow.. why should I care I pay the price he asks for..

And reflecting on this , today say I ask a person to live through this one year of my college for me cause I know its gonna be tough.. this can only happen when the person has studied what I ve studied ..

So say I assume this “my life for you inc.” has employees from every field of study so that they can replace another at their troubled times @ college or @ work…

So I employ one person on my behalf to live one hectic year as me when I m starting out on my work.. while I sit at my place n sip coffee at leisure n relax..

Then comes the part where I ve to spend time trying to follow what this guy has worked for me..i mean as me..

I assume this guy whom I ve employed has a diary of every day he has spent as me.. so in short I go through it.. I know what he has worked on on my behalf .. n gives it to me on a monthly basis.. that I read like a novel while he slogs..

Then comes the experience part of it how on earth ll this person transfer knowledge gained in this one year??!!

Ahm ahm.. if I was bothered about gaining knowledge I would ve worked myself and not employed him in the first place..:)

Assuming I employ this guy to go through a break up for me..!!

Is it even possible??

I don think I can sit n sip coffee without thinking abt it..

Assuming I can because he s in my situation.. all I do is sit n sip coffee.. he s the person who has either moved on or fixed things…

So is it him or me??!!

What happens When I go back say he has mended relationships.. we might ve exchanged places but are nt the same people..

So it might not work once I get back.. so wats the point??

So hey my friend “Nobody else can live your life for you.. you have to live it yourself.. you have to face come what may.. good or bad.. so be open to it.. rather think I wish I could put it on somebody else n not worry abt it.. cause even if you could.. you ll never learn from those experiences as you never went through it.. so next time something similar happens you need to run again to “my life for you Inc.”..:) that means you ll never live ur own life.. somebody else ll live it for you.. you wanna know at what price.. your life.. “

you can...!!

“You can’t take control of your emotions better than this..” said a friend of mine.

For a person who is as emotional as me this is possibly the best compliment ever. Its nice to have control over your emotions and not let emotions take over you. You know what you are doing and you don’t have to look back and say “ah I wish I had nt been so emotional and thought over it logically”. It’s a huge relief that not only I feel better but people are able to see this difference in me. Because what you feel is reflected in the world around you… the world of your close friends and family. And the fact that they see the difference means you ve really made the change. They are the ones who know you as well as you know yourself if not better.

I now know that the same emotions that were a weakness of mine till yesterday are my strength today. I can think both logically and emotionally and arrive at a decision rather than letting one overtake another. I can sync feelings with reasoning.. a perfect harmony… peace by itself where there is no conflict between your mind and soul. My mood swings have reduced considerably.. the suffocation I had from being tied down to emotions is gone. I feel good about myself and at the same time I no longer worry myself thinking about things that don matter much. I still have a link to my emotions but I am not tied down to them.. I control emotions and not them me. I was trying to reason my existence find my purpose in this world. As I went deeper and deeper into it I reached a point where I asked questions and questions and thought wow I still have a lot to figure out… this by itself can be the very purpose of my life.. to seek answers.. or it might be as simple as being able to help another fulfill his purpose.

I move on taking two steps forward all the time knowing life ll play its tricks on me and send me four steps backward. In this journey of moving forward and then again falling behind I learn a lot and this is wat that keeps me going. I was telling my friend jus today I sometimes think I make my life so complicated. But then again Life is not the same everyday for me thanks to the complexity. I ask new questions everyday my mind wanders in new directions thinking about things that never crossed it earlier and give me the enthusiasm to seek answers.. otherwise living a monotonous life can be pretty exhausting and life ll hold no meaning. My life teaches me something new everyday.. I get smarter by the day..(hopefully).. each day starting with lessons learnt from yesterday’s experience and adding more lessons for tomorrow. So do something different today.. THINK DIFFERENTLY and THINK DIFFERENT THINGS. For all that you may know your thought can melt mountains…..

All th world is a stage and all men and women are mere actors....

somebody once told me "Meeting and Parting away are happenings in a life.." true.. very true... during this journey of life,we meet a lot of people.. some walk with us for a few steps and walk away.. some stay with us for a long time.. fall n rise with us.. all these people have a part to play in our life.. add to our experiences..make us a better person than what we were.. when their part in our life comes to an end... they leave.. the real challenge lies in acceptance.. letting people go and not cling on them.. you ll survive.. you were fine before they entered your life n you ll be okay even if they leave.. but yes a million different feelings and emotions may find their way into you.. you need to feel each one of these emotions for you to feel better.. pain.. love.. hurt.. regret.. anger..happiness n so on.. feeling each of these emotions is important to let them leave you.. the more we run away from this the more intense they become n more difficult to deal with.. once u feel them ..time n again.. pain unbearable.. pass the test of time.. these emotions become a part of you.. make you a stronger person than what you are.. gives you strength you had never thought you had to face a lot of things for times to come.. the emotions might hurt initially.. later the pain ll subside all u ll hv is peace lefe.. peace with urself.. u ll b able to forgive urself n also others..n smile.. smile from heart.. so lets make peace with ourselves..n let people go.. so it goes.. if you let a person walk out of your life n te person does nt return the person was never yours..!! so we ve no right on wat is not ours.. so let go..if they come back accept them. .. stay happy always.. if not move on.. life s a long journey.. you still have a lot of people to meet.. to learn from you n to help you learn.. !! so live on!! learn to let go!!! stay happy always.. keep smiling..

tiptoed into new life...

i m sneaking into my new life.. tiptoed.. walkin on my toes to be sure i don wake up things of the past.. create unrest and bring them back into life.. things i have let go.. things i ve moved on from... thoughts that don ve a face as yet.. i m not letting go of the lessons i learnt from it.. my experiences make me what i am today.. i m jus letting the hate the grudge the pain the confusion the stress all that s dark subside.. i m jus lettin them die.. jus have a sense of peace n valuable lessons learnt from them.. my past.. my fears.. are waiting for me to slip into the trap they have woven for me. from which i can never come out.. after which i ve to live with them day after day.. month after month.. year after year.. i won let the memories of the past and the pain n hurt trap me.. i ll live with them but not under their conditions under mine..!! i had taken decisions n i hv to live with their consequences.. but i won let fear n pain rule me.. i am a happy soul.. smiling and spreadin smiles!! i won let the nightmares of the past ruin the day for me..!! its gone n over..!! its time i set things aside n move on..!! i found the right things but at the wrong time..!! clearly i ve a whole life in front of me.. i can still steer the ship of my life to safety n prosperity..!! so i tiptoe into my new life afraid to wake the mysteries of the past.. ready to trap me with curiosity.. i tiptoe into my new life with lot of confidence n hope..!!

Never thought i would blog!!

i never thought i wud blog..!! i was asked to blog.. a few friends suggested it would do me good.. but i never wanted to.. i don know why.. it was in my head.. somethin to do with blogs.. i don know sometimes when u decide on something its difficult to come out of it.. its a struggle with yourself.. i had to come out of the shell i created myself.. break it n come out.. to blog..!! this is jus one instance.. there has been a million issues for which i ve created rules n conditions n stuff within myself that becomes a problem for me itself later.. why is it that i m not able to come out of this or reframe the boundaries of the shell?? why is it i m making my own life complicated?? i woke up in te morning with this thought in my head.. i would make mmy life worth living a hundred times n over.. i started off with things i din wanna move on from.. i din wanna let go.. i feared i would do jus fine without them.. i din wanna be fine i wanted to be miserable.. i wanted to blame myself for everythin.. i feared i would find i m strong.. its easier to be weak n run n hide behind people.. i broke all my stupid rules.. i have come to accept i have enough courage and srength to face things.. i don ve to be trapped in te past.. i can move on.. stay happy.. life gives everyone another chance.. this is my second chance.. i should nt be stupid enough to refuse this chance.. its worth a try.. agreed its a dark n cold night.. but there ll be a bright morning.. let me get in shape to enjoy the light..!! to live!! to smile!! to spread the smile!!