Tough Times..

“At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie.” –The Alchemist

All of us have what we call as ‘tough times’ . And all of us also have the strength to deal with it. It has been designed to see how tough we are, how well we believe in ourselves.

When we are in the middle of a trouble, it always seems so out of proportion, we always see it as a huge one, we always find ourselves saying “ god, please don’t let another go through the same as I” . we find that we seek comfort from others words, when someone says we believe you can go through this, when they say you ll do just fine, it reinforces our faith and we move ahead with so much of vigor and smile through miseries as well..but it doesn’t last very long, soon the fear of losing everything, soon the fear of failing, the pain resurfaces and we begin to give up.

"He asked himself those some questions too many times and felt the fears again that kept him where he was"
— Spencer Johnson (Who Moved My Cheese?)

And at that point, we must try and find solace in other things, things that could help us hope and pray and inspire us to go ahead.

And if you look back you will see that you have already been through a lot of these ‘tough times’ and that it seemed to you then you wouldn’t be able to do it but you did! And that just proves that we are capable of handling everything, all we need Is determination and will power and a little bit of faith that everything will be good in the end.

Sometimes its slow.. but we must believe that its moving ahead.. that we are near the end.. We are so lost worrying about the problem that we fail to look for a solution.. sometimes the solution might be just to let go of the trouble and not holding on to it.. sometimes its in our heads.. we fear we don’t have anything to do if this trouble ends..nothing to worry about…there cannot be a happy man in this world.. its never heard of.. a man can not have no trouble.. so we just leave it to what we call ‘fate’ and not do anything about it..

"He knew sometimes some fear can be good. When you are afraid things are going to get worse if you don't do something, it can prompt you into action. But it is not good when you are afraid that it keeps you from doing anything."
— Spencer Johnson (Who Moved My Cheese?)

We always think change will lead to something worse, we never give an opportunity to change to do something better. We never give ourselves a chance, we don’t want to change the way we think, we never want to change ‘our principles’ ‘our decisions’ which we hold so dear.

Sometimes we just get so used to living with the trouble that we think its okay.. ‘I can live with this’ you say.. but you can’t.. never let pain or suffering get a grip on you.. never get used to it..

“Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and, without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives” – The alchemist

The key to going about our ‘tough times’ is to believe its going to end.. to believe that after every dark night, there is a bright morning, to never stop trying and not be afraid of change.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.” – The Alchemist

Know that there are people in this world, even if there are only a handful of them, who believe in you and who want you to be happy, who know in their hearts that you can deal with anything that life tests you with cause you have a brave heart, cause you have it in you to face the ‘toughest time’ and still smile.

When you begin to lose hope, to lose faith, think of all the people who will hurt if you fail yourself. Think of those who don’t care if you fail them, all they want is you be at peace with youself , cause all they care about is you.

Remember its not about whether you fall or not, its about if you’d stand up after that fall!!

i saw her eyes...

i saw her and one thing that caught my attention was her eyes..There was a depth in her eyes that cant explain. It seemed as if i was plunging into a deep sea unknown and feared. The depth cut straight through my heart. There is a sadness in her eyes at this moment when i look into them though she smiles. Is it because i look at her with expectation or is it that she s trying to say something to me .. i'll never know! The eyes speak of wisdom gained through experience or the pain they had to go through i wonder.

N then something never heard of happens. I am transported back in another world another time. I see something i m not prepared to see. I see through those very eyes that terrible night which changed everything. I see through the same eyes that were in a trance then and had refused to see what lay beyond. I see through the same eyes the hurt they had to go through. I see threough the same eyes the pain they inflicted on others.

I see through the same eyes that terrible incident that left a permanent scar. Those eyes with time might forget what they had seen but the scar ll forever remain to remind them of their fault at not bing to hadle the situation... of letting the situation go out of hand..

I came back to the present with a jolt shaken by the intensity of what i had seen... I realise this has happened to me before.. this is happening to me for may be the hundredth of time.. i wonder how long the memory will haunt those eyes as i look into them.. as i look into them through the REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR..!!

wat actually matters...

everyone of us is ultimately looking for love in some form.. everyone of us.. love comes in so many packages....some of us yearn for a mom's love.. some of us for a friend's.. while there are some others who find love in a sister or a partner..

Then why are we so boggled up when we hear the word 'love'.. its nothing to be scared of.. its somethin that helps you smile.. helps you cry your sorrows out.. love never dies.. it stays forever.. you can never hate somebody you love.. still when somebody you love hurts you or breaks your heart you try .. you try so hard to hate them.. but u never can.. u might move on forget the hurt but never the love.. love stays forever..

when a person moves on its not that there is no love... there are other things in any relationship other than love... the understanding, comfortability and trust combined together weighes more than love actually.. one might love somebody so much that they can keep trying to make things work.. but things will only work if the other factors are intact..

so what is it that matters...so does that mean if i understand and am comfortable with someone.. its enough to make a relationship work.. yes.. this is the truth..it is enough.. love follows wherever there is a perfect combination of comfortability and trust.. well thats the only way indian marriages work..

thats the only reason why so many relationships don't.. !!

as one moves on in life. they find a few people who make them feel special.. who make you think you are the only person who mattered to them.. you are the priority in their life.. then situations come up n you drift apart.. and how does this situation arise .. 'misunderstandings'.. no worries soon you'll find another person who makes you feel the same way this time jus remember not to let the 'misunderstanding' come in the way.. !!

love is an inspiration and a stimulus.. it gives you hope.. it gives you the courage to keep trying.. it gives you te boost when you are down.. gives you the reason to smile even while you are cryin... so let's not be scared of feelings.. lets not be scared of the intensity of the feelings.. someday you might be surprised to find the power they hold.. they can get you through nythin..!! when i say anything i mean anything...!!

dancing in the rain..tada tada da...

I sat by the window.. looked at the rain drops trickling down the window pane.. I ran my finger on the other side tracing the drops absentmindedly.. there was a small smile on my face …I imagined myself running down the street screaming and enjoying the rain…getting drenched… I imagined pulling my friends from next door and playin in the rain.. I sat and smiled.. it was beautiful.. full of life.. just the way I wanted to be..

As I sat there looking out I heard a voice in my head.. why am I jus sitting here content to see n imagine .. why am I not actually getting up n doin the thing I really want to..as I always d I tried to justify myself saying I have grown up I cant really scream n play in the rain in the streets.. I heard a cynical laugh.. I tried to come up with something else.. I said I might fall sick.. the laugh just got harder.. I said oh common what ll people think of me.. they ll think I am mad.. the voice said yes this is the reason. You are bothered about people.. it said u can jus imagine what it is like to dabble and play in the rain.. have you ever felt it.. imagining something and feeling it are two different things.. are you afraid of feeling something that is simply the best.. above it all.. I was quick to react.. I said no.. why wud I do that… think harder said the voice..

I thought n I found that in reality I had always looked at other people having fun and jus imagining myself in their place.. I had never really taken a stand saying I ll try it myself.. why I wondered now.. I looked at the rain drops.. tried to feel how it would feel.. I found the answer.. it was all in my head.. full of social prejudices.. what is right what is wrong.. I jus let these prejudices confuse me..!!

It was all sorted out now.. I knew I should do the things I longed to do.. cause everybody deserves a chance to experience things on their own..!! I was tired of imagining things.. I put a broad smile on my face.. opened the door to the street.. ran down screaming and enjoyin the rain…!! Jus the way I imagined.. !! I saw kids playing in the water.. I joined them.. smiling and laughing splashing water on each other,, and guess what it felt jus awesome.. way better than wat I imagined it would feel… it was ecstatic.. !! now I thought even if I fall sick guess it would be worth it.. everthin s worth a try in life.. !!

I had never been more happier and excited my entire life..!! it was way beyond wat it looked like from far.. to sing and dance in the rain..!! when I came back to my room.. the whole experience touched me so much that I was ' speechless'.. guess I can never put it into words wat I felt.. but if you really wanna know try it.. whatever you longed to do.. whatever you were content to sit far away n look at and jus imagined what it would be like..!! I know people think I m crazy now.. n crazy I feel.. but its nice..!! I have never enjoyed n been happy about feeling as crazy as I feel today!!

A girl with an umbrella in the middle of nowhere…

There was a girl with an umbrella who walked and walked endlessly.. all she could see was patches of green far away.. with nothing effective to do she decided to at least walk till that patch.. she walked towards it.. it took like ages to reach her destination n when she looked around she was disappointed.. it wasn’t what it looked from that far.. she thought “ah so it’s the truth they say the grass always looks greener on the other side..” pondering over it she thought funny that is how life is..thats the way of life.. we always look at someone n say I wish I had an easy life like hers.. may be the person has other problems that don’t really show when you look at them…

Once a friend of hers told her.. ”what for you? You have everything I ever wanted..you don hv anything to worry about” she asked her what problems does she have.. she pointed out a few issues of hers which our girl with the umbrella found very easy to deal with or which she found she would never worry about .. those things that were important to her were unimportant to our girl… and she probably din’t know the other things our girl has to face …

Our girl realized today what she could see was in comparison only to her problems..she thought “ being in my shoes.. she ll no longer have those issues but she ll have those which she would ve never thought of before.. “ it always sounds so nice to say “ I wish I was in your shoes…” cause we just look at the good things the advantages n we somehow manage to overlook the problems that accompany..

Every person has strengths and weakness… a person might find it easier to deal with emotional issues while to the other that might be the biggest issue. So next time you see somebody and think hope life was to me as it is to him.. think twice.. there s a * which says there are hidden traits.. that * is so easy to overlook but that is what ll change your entire life… and so that you know.. there s at least one person who looks at you and thinks “ I wish I was him/her..:)”

There are a series of things that comes up in our girl’s mind when she thinks about illusions and perception… our girl and loads of others like her go through this.

She looks at the night sky with loads of stars.. somewhere deep down she knows the stars are nt there .. they either would hv died by now or would be somewhere else(stars are light years away).. they are not the way she sees it.. yet when she looks at them she thinks they are there..
The mirage.. Driving down a lane in the hot sun.. she sometimes sees there is a pool of water at a distance.. she knows it’s not there.. Its jus a trick of the eye yet for an instant she believes it’s there…

she goes to the beach in the morning, looks at blue water .. at sunset orange colored water.. its reflection of the sky.. so she has been taught.. she has also been taught water is colorless.. but she still sees orange colored water..

So what is it?? Should she not believe everything she sees?? Can eyes play tricks on us?? Or is it that we should give room to our mind to work on things before jus blindly believing what we see…!!??

I ll tell you a story of our very own girl with the umbrella.. once she decided to touch the skies.. !!
Our little girl with the umbrella..looked at the horizon and thought “that is where the sky meets the sea.. if I go there I will be able to touch the skies..” Now you tell me is it possible.. but our lil girl so badly wanted to touch the skies that she thought it could happen…

So our little girl prepared for the journey.. she took all that was necessary and started on her journey to reach the point where her dreams ll come true…

Days passed by.. she sailed and sailed.. it looked as if she had made no improvement.. the point still looked so far away.. she thought just a little while more.. I ll reach the point.. I ll get closer..
Weeks and months passed by.. she went deeper and deeper into the waters.. she din know where she was.. all that she knew was she has to reach her goal.. its nice to be focused but our lil girl took the wrong path.. she trusted something she saw which dint happen in reality and which would never happen and she blindly followed path..

There was still time.. if only she had accepted that the horizon was jus an illusion.. if only she had turned back and sailed towards land again.. if only she had had the courage to accept the truth and turn back while there was still time..

But are little girl dint wanna accept the truth.. she sailed and sailed and one day she realized she was lost.. she realized the point she was working towards was never there..there was no way she could make it back to the shore.. It was too late..

If only she had accepted it earlier.. if only she had come back.. she could ve dreamt of something else or achieved the same dream differently.. if only she had accepted things earlier..

Now the little girl is lost.. our girl with the umbrella is lost forever.. but let’s learn from her life.. it s not wrong to work towards your goal.. its not wrong to take steps to achieve it.. but when you realize you are taking a wrong path.. never postpone the decision for tomorrow.. turn and come back.. and take another road to your destination...or you might never know you could be lost to the world jus like our little girl with the umbrella in the middle of nowhere!!!!

My life for you INC.

One of the weirdest thing I ve ever heard “what if there was a company which had people who would live the bad times for you for a price?”

Imagine you could just go to a person and say “ hey this is my situation I want you to handle it for me ..live my life till this is over.. “ sounds like hey if this could work it ll be awesome.. !! for me yes n what abt the other person who goes through hell for me today n for another person tomorrow.. why should I care I pay the price he asks for..

And reflecting on this , today say I ask a person to live through this one year of my college for me cause I know its gonna be tough.. this can only happen when the person has studied what I ve studied ..

So say I assume this “my life for you inc.” has employees from every field of study so that they can replace another at their troubled times @ college or @ work…

So I employ one person on my behalf to live one hectic year as me when I m starting out on my work.. while I sit at my place n sip coffee at leisure n relax..

Then comes the part where I ve to spend time trying to follow what this guy has worked for me..i mean as me..

I assume this guy whom I ve employed has a diary of every day he has spent as me.. so in short I go through it.. I know what he has worked on on my behalf .. n gives it to me on a monthly basis.. that I read like a novel while he slogs..

Then comes the experience part of it how on earth ll this person transfer knowledge gained in this one year??!!

Ahm ahm.. if I was bothered about gaining knowledge I would ve worked myself and not employed him in the first place..:)

Assuming I employ this guy to go through a break up for me..!!

Is it even possible??

I don think I can sit n sip coffee without thinking abt it..

Assuming I can because he s in my situation.. all I do is sit n sip coffee.. he s the person who has either moved on or fixed things…

So is it him or me??!!

What happens When I go back say he has mended relationships.. we might ve exchanged places but are nt the same people..

So it might not work once I get back.. so wats the point??

So hey my friend “Nobody else can live your life for you.. you have to live it yourself.. you have to face come what may.. good or bad.. so be open to it.. rather think I wish I could put it on somebody else n not worry abt it.. cause even if you could.. you ll never learn from those experiences as you never went through it.. so next time something similar happens you need to run again to “my life for you Inc.”..:) that means you ll never live ur own life.. somebody else ll live it for you.. you wanna know at what price.. your life.. “

you can...!!

“You can’t take control of your emotions better than this..” said a friend of mine.

For a person who is as emotional as me this is possibly the best compliment ever. Its nice to have control over your emotions and not let emotions take over you. You know what you are doing and you don’t have to look back and say “ah I wish I had nt been so emotional and thought over it logically”. It’s a huge relief that not only I feel better but people are able to see this difference in me. Because what you feel is reflected in the world around you… the world of your close friends and family. And the fact that they see the difference means you ve really made the change. They are the ones who know you as well as you know yourself if not better.

I now know that the same emotions that were a weakness of mine till yesterday are my strength today. I can think both logically and emotionally and arrive at a decision rather than letting one overtake another. I can sync feelings with reasoning.. a perfect harmony… peace by itself where there is no conflict between your mind and soul. My mood swings have reduced considerably.. the suffocation I had from being tied down to emotions is gone. I feel good about myself and at the same time I no longer worry myself thinking about things that don matter much. I still have a link to my emotions but I am not tied down to them.. I control emotions and not them me. I was trying to reason my existence find my purpose in this world. As I went deeper and deeper into it I reached a point where I asked questions and questions and thought wow I still have a lot to figure out… this by itself can be the very purpose of my life.. to seek answers.. or it might be as simple as being able to help another fulfill his purpose.

I move on taking two steps forward all the time knowing life ll play its tricks on me and send me four steps backward. In this journey of moving forward and then again falling behind I learn a lot and this is wat that keeps me going. I was telling my friend jus today I sometimes think I make my life so complicated. But then again Life is not the same everyday for me thanks to the complexity. I ask new questions everyday my mind wanders in new directions thinking about things that never crossed it earlier and give me the enthusiasm to seek answers.. otherwise living a monotonous life can be pretty exhausting and life ll hold no meaning. My life teaches me something new everyday.. I get smarter by the day..(hopefully).. each day starting with lessons learnt from yesterday’s experience and adding more lessons for tomorrow. So do something different today.. THINK DIFFERENTLY and THINK DIFFERENT THINGS. For all that you may know your thought can melt mountains…..